It's over

I've been home for over a month now which is longer then I was gone this summer. This seems so strange because on one hand I feel like it was a year ago, if it happened at all, and on the other it feels like I just got back. Since being back I've pretty much been busy with work (i.e. preparing for a new year, training for a new year, a new staff and an entirely new group of students in my hall), occasionally getting to share with family and friends about my trip.

Monday night I had the chance to see "Eat. Pray. Love.". Though I had already started reading the book, the movie did something to me. Seeing Elizabeth Gilbert's journey of discovery and travel, I couldn't help but think about my own journey. By the time the movie was over I had enough going on inside me that I could have exploded with thoughts, feelings and ideas. But rather then explode I came to the realization that I need to tend to what was going on inside of me. Lucky for me the next day was my day off, in light of the crazy schedule we've been on since the end of July. So off-campus I had to go...Kean Coffee my destination.

At Kean, with an amazing Honey Vanilla Latte to caffeinate me, I began to journal...to write down the things going on in my heart and my head. Not long after I began there were tears in my eyes and I realized that I need to grieve. I need to grieve that my trip is over. I need to grieve that my adventure with the Lord through Europe, more incredible then I could have expected it to be, is over. I need to grieve that the trip that quite often freaked me out before I left, was a trip that I will never forget nor will I be the same. I need to grieve.

Who would've thought? And, what does that mean? My answer...I have NO IDEA! But, one thing I do know is that I need to not neglect it. I need and desire to enter into whatever the process God might have for me is...post Europe. God gave me the idea, the deep rooted peace about going, and I have no words to describe the way I experienced His presence with me as I went. It is because of these things that I want to remain faithful to whatever He has for me post-journey. Whether it be grieving, writing out my story, sharing it with others or something I have no sight to see currently...I desire to receive God's grace, be kind to myself and be faithful to that which God stirs within me.