Georgia on My Mind...

Several months ago I got a call from my Uncle Jess asking me if I was available to come out to Georgia to meet up with him, my aunt & cousins to go white water rafting in July for my cousin Lizzie's 21st B-Day and my Aunt & Uncle's 25th Anniversary. However, there was one catch...my coming would be a suprise gift to Lizzie. What?!?! Me?...a GIFT? Seriously, God has a sense of humor. In Maui I was humbled to receive and now I was humbled with the idea of being a gift. Crazy! But, lets be honest I received much on this trip...it was a gift to be with my family and share such great adventures together. I had SO much fun with them...from white water-rafting, to rubber band gun fights, to sitting out on the deck enjoying conversation, to laughing ALOT, and much more...I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to be with them. Here are a few fun pics from the trip!

View from the deck of our cabin! We were hidden away on the top of a mountain surrounded by GREEN!!! It was beautiful.

Aunt Renee and I out on the deck.

The fam & I at a waterfall during the rafting trip.

Lean! Lean! Lean! What you don't see in this pic is that Wayne (front right) & Lizzie fell out right after this. Our guide asked Lizzie, since it was her B-Day, if she wanted "Original Recipe" or "Extra Crispy" and she chose "Extra Crispy" which meant it was highly unlikely her and Wayne would stay in the raft. So fun & so funny!

The looks of determination to conquer the next rapid!

Conquered but got a little wet. ;)

Uncle Jess (right front), waiting in anticipation for the next rapid.

Aunt Renee (front left), maybe a little scared? Not quite sure! :)

Anticipation over!

Paddle! Paddle! Paddle!

Extra Crispy once again. We were heading for one of the last big rapids of the day in which our guide headed us right towards "Launch Pad" (a rock in the middle of the rapid)...see next pictures for the results.

Awesome!

These are just a few pics from my trip...you can check out my facebook in a few days and see the rest of the pics.

A few more Maui pics...

Looking down @ Honolua Bay...one of the places we snorkeled at.

After snorkeling @ Honolua Bay...we were just imitating the fish. :)
We saw a small octopus, a few blow fish, swam with a school of hundreds of fish, saw a turtle & lots more beautifully colorful fish!

The tropical jungle like trail down to Honolua Bay.

Listening to the sounds of the jungle? Or, were we lost?
Or, maybe we're just REALLY funny!

Hanging out at the dock, before sunrise, waiting to board the boat for our Sunrise Whale Watching Trip...AMAZING!

The sun is coming up...

and up...

and up!

Whale tail!!! We saw several whales, a few baby whales (i.e. calves), heard the song of the whales, and saw 2 whales breach. WHAT?!?!

Breakfast @ Cheeseburger in Paradise after Whale Watching. A breakfast of champions! Hawaiian omelette, macadamia nut pancakes, cheeseburger & fries (shared by the three of us that is)!

Maui pics...just a few for now!

View from the lanai (deck).

After dinner with the Barnes' @ Kimo's.

Sunset from Stacy & I's table @ the Hula Grill...one of my favorite places!

View from the other side of our lanai.

Sunset on Easter from the lanai. Beautiful!!

Gifts

I have come to realize lately that I have a really hard time receiving gifts. Whether it be a tangible gift, the gift of words, the gift of time or some other sort of gift...I don't know how to receive them. I have a hard time because I don't believe, most of the time, that I deserve it. Why would I deserve to receive gifts? What have I done to earn a gift? What do I do to repay someone for a gift? Am I capable of giving a gift worth receiving?

Well, God is pretty funny and it just so happened that Spring Break was filled with gifts! Gifts I didn't expect. Gifts I didn't earn. Gifts I couldn't possibly repay. Gifts I didn't feel worthy of. Gifts! Gifts! Gifts! And, I am still sitting with what it looks like to truly receive...just receive.

I honestly can't write about all I received but I will share a few. First of all, I got to go to Maui...GIFT! Secondly, I got to go for a few days all by myself before my friend, Stacy, was able to meet me there. Time alone...GIFT! Time with Stacy...GIFT! We had a free place to stay...GIFT!!

Before I left I realized, with the help of my Spiritual Director, that I felt a sense of responsibility to make sure my time there alone (Easter day) was full of incredible encounters with God. Funny thing is...I am not God (shocking, I know)! It was then I realized that I needed to not "make" God time but I needed to wait on God. I didn't need to make a perfect plan that would somehow make me worthy of having a significant time with God, I just needed to recognize that He was already with me and just be with Him. And, it was in this waiting that God met me in a very simple but VERY significant way. GIFT! GIFT! GIFT!

Could there be more? Yep! Did there need to be more? I don't know...but it happened!

Linda was also in Maui that week and took us, After getting almost two full days by myself Stacy arrived. And, we had a great time together! Snorkeling! Laying by the pool or on the beach! Whale watching! Great conversation! Good food! Coffee! Sitting out on the lanai (i.e. deck)! All of it...GIFTS! A couple we know (though I know them far less than Stacy) was in Maui during the week and unexpectedly took us out to dinner twice to incredible restaurants. GIFTS!!

Honestly, I feel like I could go on and on about all I received in just one short week...but I haven't even processed it all. But, while I was in Maui I started to read a book called "Surrender to Love" by David Benner and God is speaking to me deeply through this book...it is incredible! I want to share a few quotes from the book that have both challenged and comforted me in the area of receiving gifts...unearned gifts.

"But as noted by Kierkagaard, unresolved guilt always damages the capacity for love. The reason for this is that the guilty self feels that it deserves punishment. It also feels like a dangerous self. Unconscious guilt makes me feel that I have to withdraw from others, lest I damage them by my love. This leads to self-preoccupation, and the result is always a serious impairment of my ability to give or receive love." (p. 43)

"I want to earn what I get. And for the most part I am content to get what I earn. Nothing grates more than a handout. If you doubt this, just ask someone who lives off charity. What humans want is to earn the love we seek. The Christian God comes to us as wholly other--so different from the gods of imagination, so far beyond my control. Encountering such a God is terrifying because encountering perfect love is an invitation to abandon ego. A god of our own making would be much less terrifying. But, such a god could not offer me what I most deeply need--release from my fears and healing of my brokenness." (p. 47)

These words...and many more...are powerful to me and where I am at on my journey. I am learning about the fears and guilt that reside deep within me and how they keep me from receiving gifts...LOVE.

School

Sometimes I love school and sometimes I just don't. For the last several weeks I have spent most of my free time outside of work writing papers and reading for my class. And, as much as I am enjoying the content and challenge of this course...I am SICK of it! I am SICK of not spending time with friends and family or just relaxing on my couch because I have so much school work to do. How can something be so good and so not good at the same time? I have no clue! In fact, I asked my counselor the same thing today...he didn't have an answer for me. Why am I paying him? ;)

Well...the good things is that my class ends tomorrow. All my papers will get turned in & from 8:30am - 12noon I get to discuss ethics and then...DONE. I have several pages left to write on two papers but even if I go to bed at 3am...I will be able to come home after class, take a nap and not think about anything school/homework related for a few weeks. YAY!!

I am SO thankful for my education and the opportunity I have to learn in this program AND I am so thankful to complete one more class and be that much closer to graduating!!

To Blog or Not to Blog

That is the question. Here I am, it is over 2 months since I last blogged and I ask myself..."to blog or not to blog?" I actually don't totally know what that question means but it sounds like the right question to be asking. And so, I choose to blog. However, that is the extent of my blogging...to recognize I haven't blogged in a while and to blog about it and then to say...goodnight and I will try not to wait 2 more months before I blog again. :)

More China Adventures

We visited Olympic Park one night...they had over 100 trees lit up with Christmas lights. It was beautiful! Dad and I thought we would shake it up gangsta style in front of the Birds Nest.

Mom and I on the Great Wall.

Just making sure the enemy knows we are serious about hiking the wall.
Shoot...don't mess with me!

Probably the funniest Chinese man I saw/met. He was at the bottom of the mountain, smoking the LARGEST pipe I have ever seen, saying things in Chinese, laughing and then saying "You want picture?" And, he didn't even charge us!

When we finished hiking the Great Wall we got to ride toboggan off the mountain. That was one thing I knew I wanted to do, besides go to the Great Wall.

One afternoon both of my parents were working so I went to a local bakery/coffee shop "Tous Les Jours" to journal, read and relax. It was a great afternoon!

Here is one of the many humorously translated signs in China. It was in a shopping center...I think it is supposed to say something like "No Smoking" Whoops!

My parent's friend Hannah went shopping with us one morning and afterwards bought us all treats. She is a very sweet girl and a great shopper too. I really enjoyed all the time I got to spend with her.

I had the privilege of going to "The Bridge" with Amy one afternoon for coffee and treats. It was such a blessing to connect with her one-on-one.

Christmas in China

My parents had 10 single friends over on Christmas morning for breakfast, gifts, reading the Christmas story, singing and fellowship.

My Dad thought it would be great to get a picture of me and Shan Shan with Linda...since she is considerably shorter then us. These ladies are both very beautiful and it was great to get to know them each a little bit.

We spent Christmas dinner and evening with the Holsclaw family. It was great to have time with familiar faces that I love! This is Alenna and I...we became buddies! :)

I brought the Holsclaws See's Lollipops for Christmas...as you can see the kids REALLY liked them!! They are a fun bunch to be with...I miss them!

Although it was hard to be away from the rest of the family, traditions and familiarity I am thankful to have gotten the opportunity to share Christmas with my parents, the people they consider friends and family in China AND the Holsclaw family.

Acrobats in Action

Here is a short clip of the acrobats show I recorded...amazing!